A Montego Family Loss

"MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner" (montegoman562)
08/04/2015 at 09:52 • Filed to: Montego, Loss, Emery, Rose, Angel

Good Morning Oppo Family, I’ve got bad news today.

I think I’m finally ready to tell my Oppo Family about what happened in July. I’m not sure if you all noticed, some of you have me on Facebook and found out there, but I was off of Oppo for about 3 weeks.

On July 8th, our daughter Emery Rose was born with angel wings. She was only 11 ounces and 9 inches. She was entering the 24th week of our pregnancy when her heart gave out, she had a Hypoplastic left heart, which means the left side didn’t develop at all which left her right heart with a whole lot more workload. The Doctors actually told us they were amazed she made it past 12 weeks. She was a fighter, and she fought really hard for us.

It’s been almost a month, I’ve been back to work since last Monday (you may have noticed I started commenting again) and we’re trying to heal as best we can. We’ve had lots of great support from friends and family which has been wonderful.

We’ll never forget her and we’re really lucky that we were at least able to spend a little time with her and hold her. I’m not going to pull punches with you guys, it’s the worst experience of our lives. It really sucks.

Now, the only thing I would ask of you guys, is that my wife is running this small fund raiser for a non-profit that makes something called “Molly Bears”. The bears are built as close as possible in size and weight to babies who didn’t make it, just like Emery. The company only really works off donations and so far my wife has raised $710. Not only has she covered the cost of the bear she wants, every $450 gets 10 bears for other families that have gone through what we’re going through. Her goal is only $900. I’m hoping the power of Oppo will get her closer! One of the things that helps us heal is to do nice things for other people. If you would consider taking a look at the link, she’s done a write up over there and it explains things a bit more in depth. I’ve included the link right below:

https://rally.org/mollybears/blJ…

Next time I post it’ll be a happy post about the Montego or the Commander, you guys need an update on both, lots of things have happened on those! Thanks for your support in advance, because I know this community will be full of support.

DISCUSSION (94)

$kaycog > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 09:56

I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you and your wife.

Firewrx234 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 09:57

Sorry for your loss. The loss of a child is one of the hardest things I can even fathom. Good luck and prayers!

CB > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 09:59

I’m sorry for your loss. But it’s great to see your wife doing what she’s doing. Here’s to greener pastures!

Jcarr > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 09:59

Man, I am so sorry to hear that. When my wife was about 6 weeks along with our boy we were on vacation and she started bleeding. We weren’t able to get home to her OB for a few days so we thought for those few days that we had lost him. Fortunately, that wasn’t the case, but I can, in a very small way, relate to what you’re feeling. It was the most empty, crushing thing I think I’ve ever felt.

I’ll keep you and your wife in my thoughts and prayers.

wiffleballtony > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 09:59

I know it isn’t what you want to hear but I know EXACTLY how you feel. My sincere condolences.

Cash Rewards > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:00

As a recent and expecting father, I can’t even imagine how you must feel. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Where have all the lightweights gone? > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:03

I am really sorry to hear that about your daughter. A good friend of mine from high school experienced the same loss a little over a year ago. It’s not right to walk into a funeral home for a soul whose life was so incredibly short.

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:03

I’m so sorry. My fiancee had two miscarriages back in 2013, within 3 months of each other (one on my birthday, the second one the day before hers), and that is unbearable sadness. What you went through, words can’t even express. My heart hurts for you but I’m glad your wife is doing that fundraiser. That’s definitely a good cause. I might be able to donate a small something this coming payday.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:03

Wow, sorry for your loss. Nothing anyone can say will make the pain go away. Just know that if you need to vent in any way we're here for you.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Cash Rewards
08/04/2015 at 10:03

Thanks, I have to say we’d be in much worse shape if this was our first.

Our son is about 2.5 and he’s awesome (even knew that I was doing an oil change on my car in the driveway this weekend - “Daddy are you doing an oil change?!”) so he’s helped us through it, congrats on becoming a Dad!

spanfucker retire bitch > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:04

I’m really sorry to hear about you and your family’s loss.

extraspecialbitter > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:04

Prayers to you and your family, brother.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Firewrx234
08/04/2015 at 10:04

Thanks, and try not to fathom it! If you can avoid ever feeling this it’s the right direction to go.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > CB
08/04/2015 at 10:05

Thanks, I have to say it amazes me that her first thought is always to pass on the kindness we’ve received.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Jcarr
08/04/2015 at 10:06

Thanks, we had a mini scare around 6 weeks that sounds a lot like the above with our son (who’s 2.5 now). I hope you never experience the real thing.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > wiffleballtony
08/04/2015 at 10:07

It’s ok to hear that, and I’m sorry that you know how I feel. I wish no one knew how I feel.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > $kaycog
08/04/2015 at 10:07

Thanks $kay

Cash Rewards > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:09

Thanks, and your son sounds awesome! I hope happier times are on their way for you all.

crowmolly > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:09

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

CalzoneGolem > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:11

You guys will be in my prayers brother. Losing a child is literally the worst thing that I could think of happening.

f86sabre > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:12

Hugs for you and your family. That is a rough situation to go through. Take care of your wife and yourself as well. It sounds like your family is taking some good steps in coping with the loss.

Xyl0c41n3 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:12

I am so sorry for you and your wife’s loss. The photographs above are beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story, and all my best to you and your family.

wiffleballtony > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:12

I know what you mean. Stay focused on your beliefs, whatever they may be. You’ll be fine, eventually.

Firewrx234 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:13

Kinja'd!!!

Good luck you guys!

PS9 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:16

Kinja'd!!!

Loss for words.

Sn210 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:16

Sorry MontegoMan :(

ttyymmnn > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:16

I’m not even sure where to start. My wife and I lost our first pregnancy to a miscarriage, but that seems relatively small compared to what you and your wife are dealing with. I have mused on all that needs to happen to create another human being. So many things have to go right that it’s a wonder we exist at all. And as you painfully know, sometimes things simply don’t go right, through no fault of our own. Life is a very complicated endeavor. I’m certainly in no position to give you any advice, and words seem somewhat hollow, but be certain that I am thinking of you both, and wish you both peace and strength.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:17

Man I’m not going to pretend I know what you’re going through, but please accept my condolences.

Someone in the family was pregnant with twins, one stillborn, one survived about a week. It was devastating and something she’ll never truly overcome, but she had another child soon after and found happiness again. While you can’t (and shouldn’t) forget, you can find happiness again and I hope you do.

Rainbow > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:20

There’s nothing I can think of to say that hasn’t already been said. I only hope that things will get much better for you, your wife, and everyone else affected by this tragedy.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:21

Sorry for your loss. :/

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Where have all the lightweights gone?
08/04/2015 at 10:25

Worst phone call I ever made in my wife was to the funeral home.

There was no way I was going to make my wife call, it sucked though, they were pretty awesome to us though, didn’t charge us for their services, only the actual urn (at cost, no mark up)

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
08/04/2015 at 10:26

Thanks man, I’m sorry for your losses as well.

Anything you can give is very kind of you, no such thing as a small donation, they’re all donations.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
08/04/2015 at 10:26

Thanks man

Nibby > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:27

I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I don’t know how I could help, but if you need anything or anyone to talk to, I’m here.

EL_ULY > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:27

You take as much time as you need buddy. OPPO will be here. Stay strong, you and your fam.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > CalzoneGolem
08/04/2015 at 10:30

It is, try not to think about it too hard, because it is the worst thing.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > f86sabre
08/04/2015 at 10:30

We’re trying, thanks.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Xyl0c41n3
08/04/2015 at 10:32

Thanks, there is actually another really cool non-profit I should promote here as well. Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep is a great organization that sends out volunteer photographers to take pictures for families in our situation at no cost. In our case, they didn’t have someone available (they are volunteers after all) but offered to retouch all of the photos for free. So a combination of me with my camera and the nurse (who did a surprisingly good job, she was awesome in all ways) we got some great photos and NILMDS was able to retouch them nicely.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > EL_ULY
08/04/2015 at 10:32

Thanks Cookie Monster, I’ll lay off the burnt cookies for you for a little while...

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Firewrx234
08/04/2015 at 10:33

Thanks for your donation! It means so much to us, and my wife especially.

EL_ULY > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:35

lol thanks buddy. Though technically, I did save my dad’s F-250 :]

Xyl0c41n3 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:35

Yup. I am familiar with NILMDTS. I know a woman who volunteers her time photographing for them here where I live. She does beautiful work in a very difficult and delicate situation. I’m glad you and your wife were able to capture a few moments with your daughter.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > ttyymmnn
08/04/2015 at 10:36

Thanks man. It is true, it’s unbelievable we exist with how stacked against us the cards are.

One thing that did bring us comfort through all this is that the Dr’s have told us over and over again that it had nothing to do with us and it was a complete roll of the dice or a strike of lightening. We couldn’t have caused it or done anything to stop it.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
08/04/2015 at 10:38

That sounds exactly like what we’re thinking about, we’ll never forget her, but we are just working to happiness again. We thank god all the time that she was our 2nd not our 1st, because our first is 2.5 and he’s awesome and has really kept us going, we’ve even said we’re glad he’s so young because he doesn’t even realize the weight on his shoulders.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Xyl0c41n3
08/04/2015 at 10:39

Yeah they are a great group and sincerely felt bad they couldn’t get there.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > EL_ULY
08/04/2015 at 10:40

I don’t know, I think there’s still a “save an old ford muscle car” debt to be paid...

Takuro Spirit > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:40

Sorry to hear, glad to see you guys are pulling through. The fund raiser is a noble thing to do as well, I’ll talk to the wife tonight about donating.

ttyymmnn > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:41

Yes, life really is a crap shoot.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Takuro Spirit
08/04/2015 at 10:42

Thanks, and thanks for talking it over.

Takuro Spirit > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:45

Don’t mention it. My first daughter was a few weeks early and stopped breathing in my arms after delivery. Two and a half weeks in the NICU and having to leave my wife alone at home to go back to work was the scariest thing I have been through. Not saying its the same, or I know what YOU are going through.... but I can relate? I guess?

Where have all the lightweights gone? > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:48

What a great gesture that is. That’s a top notch establishment right there.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Takuro Spirit
08/04/2015 at 10:50

Yeah, until now the scariest thing I had was my 2.5 year old son when he was a month old was taken to the hospital by ambulance for low oxygen level, he had RSV/Bronciolitis (sp?) which is basically bronchitis but worse he had immune system issues for the whole first year after that, lots of blood tests, and a scary couple days. He’s all good now though, immune system bounced back great.

You have permission to say you relate, don’t worry.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:51

It sounds like you have a great family there, you'll pull through I'm sure. All of us here are rooting for you guys.

EL_ULY > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 10:56

true true

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Where have all the lightweights gone?
08/04/2015 at 10:56

Yeah, we’re really thankful the counselor at the hospital recommended them, it was something that could have been a million times more difficult and painful that went really easily.

ly2v8-Brian > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 11:12

It's not fair.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > ly2v8-Brian
08/04/2015 at 11:14

This is a very, very true statement.

Andy Sheehan, StreetsideStig > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 11:17

I’m really sorry to hear that, man. I can’t imagine. Praying for you guys.

kanadanmajava1 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 11:25

That’s awful. I’m very sorry to hear your loss.

My parents lost my (older) twin brothers after they were prematurely born. They only lived for couple of days. My mother is still very weak hearing about any baby issues but I can’t even imagine parents’ feelings in such situation.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 11:29

I’m really sorry for your lost dude. I can totally relate to what you are going thru.

In March after struggling to get pregnant for 3 years my wife had a miscarriage around the 8 week mark. It was devastating our life was less complete than before getting pregnant. We were given this sliver of hope after finally getting pregnant and it was taken away too soon.

Luckily after a 3 month recovery period the docs told us it was safe to start trying again and we got pregnant pretty much on the first try (humongus relief I thought it would takes years again).

We are currently at 12 weeks and I’m not celebrating anything until we have a healthy baby in our arms. Even tho the odds are good that this pregnancy will be viable I’m just keeping my hopes up but cautiously treating it as a 50/50 chance.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
08/04/2015 at 11:35

I hear you man. When we try again I may not tell anyone until the baby is here.

You’re at 12 weeks though, so you can go for what’s called the NT check. It’s the Nuchal Translucency and it can be a warning sign that things aren’t exactly going according to plan. Some people don’t want to know, we wanted to know everything we could. Emery’s was way off and it was an early warning that things may not go well. Always remember if you do it (it’s just a specific ultrasound btw) that you can get a bad reading and everything is completely fine and normal, that’s why some don’t take it.

Wishing you the best on this one man. I really am good luck.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 11:36

Sorry for your loss.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > kanadanmajava1
08/04/2015 at 11:36

The only solace, is that the Dr’s have said there’s no pain because she never lived outside the womb. They say when the heart gives out like this, it’s just her fading away, not painfully...so at least there’s that.

craig-oesterling > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 11:52

I can’t imagine the sorrow your family is going through losing Emery. Praying for your peace and encouragement.

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 11:55

I’m so sorry to hear that. I wish you and yours all the best in getting over something so painful. It is good that your son is so young, he will help you move past the grief with his innocence. Remember that grief is normal and natural even if it is painful. Take the time to care for yourself and your family and don’t be afraid to reach out to others who can help you. Make sure that if you need time alone, or if your wife needs time alone that you take that time. Get a babysitter and go on a date. Give your son a hug, give your wife a hug. As bad as it feels now, it will get better.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 11:59

We have the appointment for the NT scan August 24th. It’s not gonna change a thing with the outcome, we will go thru with the pregnancy regardless of what they find but at least we can mentally prepare ourselves in the event that things might not look good.

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 12:15

Losing a child is just the worst. My littlest bro died before his first birthday, and it still hurts when I think about him. I hope you and your wife will be able to heal soon, at least as much as you can.

RockThrillz89 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 12:18

Sorry for your loss. I’m not really good at consolation, and have no way to relate with what you’re going through, so I’ll just say: I wish you and your wife the best. Oppo’s good people as you know. I think it’s safe to say we’re here for you in what ever regard we can be.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again.
08/04/2015 at 13:09

Sorry about your little bro, thanks for the support.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > RockThrillz89
08/04/2015 at 13:09

Sounds like you’re better at it than you think you are.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
08/04/2015 at 13:12

That was our philosophy. I think it would have been worse if we had been blindsided by this.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much
08/04/2015 at 13:13

Thanks Finn, it’s a process and we’ve taken a few nights out, some have been good some not so good. But we still have good days and bad days...good hours and bad hours...

Imirrelephant > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/04/2015 at 13:16

Deepest sympathies to you guys. I can’t even imagine. Be strong for each other!

pip bip - choose Corrour > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/05/2015 at 04:59

my condolences to you both on your loss.

JR1 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/05/2015 at 21:13

I am so sorry buddy

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > JR1
08/06/2015 at 09:05

Thanks bro, I didn’t know you hadn’t seen this yet.

JR1 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/06/2015 at 13:26

I had not. I am hardly ever on facebook. And with the morning rush of posts I must have just missed it.

It's bull shit though man.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > JR1
08/06/2015 at 13:49

Yeah, it sucks. Lots of support from friends, family, and of course everyone on OPPO.

Do I have you on facebook?

JR1 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/06/2015 at 14:51

Yes. You PM’d me one time.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > JR1
08/06/2015 at 14:56

First off, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

But that did help me find a conversation we had about classic cars and sports....

JR1 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/06/2015 at 14:58

Yeah that was a good conversation. I should probably get on Facebook more lol

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > JR1
08/06/2015 at 15:08

Message whenever man and let me know if you’re up around Detroit.

JR1 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/06/2015 at 15:23

Once college starts here in 2 weeks I'm only ever an hour or hour and half away

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > JR1
08/06/2015 at 15:38

Where you going again?

JR1 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/06/2015 at 18:13

Bowling Green. One year left!

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > JR1
08/06/2015 at 19:57

Almost done! 21 yet? Or during this school year?

JR1 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/06/2015 at 20:35

Christmas Eve!

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > JR1
08/07/2015 at 09:02

Alright well over winter break you can come up for a beer then haha, maybe next summer if you want to be able to see the montego actually move.

JR1 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/07/2015 at 09:28

Sounds like a plan man. I like your thinking.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > JR1
08/07/2015 at 09:31

Or even better, you’ll finally be of age for me to share one of my The Cask recommendations!

JR1 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/07/2015 at 12:27

The cask?

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > JR1
08/07/2015 at 12:46

http://cigarlounge.kinja.com/search?q=the+c…

click that, all but the very bottom one are mine.

It’s my Whiskey review article series. Do some reading so you can be prepared for Christmas Eve lol

WiscoProud > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/10/2015 at 16:35

You have my utter and complete sympathy. My daughter just turned one and had spent some time in the NICU at birth, that fear I felt seeing her hooked up is still very real to me.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > WiscoProud
08/10/2015 at 16:48

Thanks man.

I’m glad your daughter pulled through. That fear is real to me as well. My son is a smidge over 2.5 and he was taken to the hospital by ambulance at only 3 or 4 weeks old. I drove double the distance to the hospital (me leaving work, them leaving the Dr’s office) as the ambulance which went lights and sirens....and I beat it there. Don’t let anyone tell you Mercury Milan V6’s are slow, I may or may not have been doing 85-90mph all the way there.

He had RSV/Bronchiolitis which is basically bronchitis but more fucked up.

We were quarantined for a week because his oxygen level was low. The only positive that came out of that situation was understanding that there are people in shittier positions than we were in. That’s why we like to try and find ways to turn our tough situation positive and help people going through similar things. We were in the Heart/Lungs/Cancer section of the children’s hospital. Which is basically the worst place on earth, despite Dr’s and Nurses basically performing miracles.

I could never hate anyone enough to wish a visit to that floor on anyone.

I hope there aren’t any lasting effects with whatever was going on with your daughter and it makes me very happy to hear she pulled through. My son has mild asthma but we think that’s fading out, his immune system was low for about a year, but he’s solid now.